“What you looking at” grunts a tall, at least 6' 3 good looking guy, whom swings around to face me. As he gives me a quick look over, I watch him as he rearranges his facial expression in an attempt to look ‘hard’ . . . or at least it seemed that was his intent, whether or not it was succeeding is another matter. His mates, six of them who I would only give a 6/10 , start sniggering one by one with expectation, they are just a bunch of cronies whom can’t do anything on their own. *Sigh* Such a shame, with a face and a body like that, he had to be a wanna be gangster.
“Oi, ya here me? What the hell do ya think your looking at” Yup, a wanna be gangster and so I smile politely with only a small amount of a evil grin and honestly reply:
“More than you think I am” … a lot more.
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When I was a child, I was surrounded by heroes like super man, fantasies where no one is excluded from happily ever after, myths promising immortality and dreams where I planned my future. Looking back I was so foolishly, blissfully unaware of the cruel truth of the world, because at the end of the day no one is going to save me. Superman is stuck working overtime at an office and my prince charming is most likely high on drugs. That’s life, shit happens, though I wish shit would give me a day off. Even as I walk through the shopping centre reality keeps smacking me in the face, there are people hiding themselves from the world, they hide behind thick walls to defend themselves, like the guy earlier; peer pressure and a rough time at home have made him act aggressive, so he starts bad mouthing others and parading around all confident while he regrets his actions, seeing people like him generally puts me in a bad mood, but today my mood was already rock bottom. Tch, I should have stayed in bed, free food is so not worth putting myself through this. You see I got a text the other day from Raleigh aka Mr. good looking guy, who is more than aware of this fac, the offer was a free meal out along with my best friend Ava; she’s a Goth in denial and Dylan; who is a great distraction to the feminine mind, a mind such as mine to say the least ~. Usually I would blow such outings off as I hate crowds; being surrounded by people is ... overwhelming to say the least.
I knew I was going to arrive early as my bus had come earlier than it was supposed to, typical of the bus service these days as they either don’t come or don’t come on time. After jumping off the bus and giving the bus driver a polite nod and ‘thank you, I waddled over to the newer area of the city centre. We were meant to meet under the large tree, easy to find so it seemed like a great meeting place but what moron thought to have no ceiling around the tree, it’s freezing and now I have to sit and wait in this weather, so bloody typical of England, it’s never sunny when you want it to be, scrap that, it’s never sunny. The design of this particular area of the city is that of an open space I suppose, it’s like a ring of shops of which surround the tree, around the tree is a circular concrete seating, and in-between the space of the tree and the seating stand the concrete cows, of which Milton Keynes is known for. Personally they just creep me out. Though at the end of the day I suppose I best not moan, seeming as this was totally my fault, planning ahead was never one of my strong points, not that I had any strong points aside making a fool of myself on a daily basis. Apparently I am five star entertainment source once the ball gets rolling; tripping over my own two feet on a perfectly flat surface, making stupid remarks without thinking, digging my own grave so others have to tease me and they never miss the chance to, over reacting to every little thing, in short I am a living, breathing comedian. Great, 17 years old and I’ve already got a future career.
And so here I sat. Bored as hell and being bored one must fidget, it’s virtually a law and it’s common sense! And to live up to such expectations I cross my legs and start fidgeting, albeit I had only been waiting for around five minutes, but five minutes in cold weather on your own is not the pinnacle of fun and I was getting seriously impatient. Note to self: add impatient to my list of non strong points. Looking around the area there was no visible clock, just lots of people in their own bubbles weaving in and out of shops, but an impatient person needs to stare at a clock, staring at a clock is just about as fun as watching paint dry . . . which can be fun if you are in the right mindset and so I rummaged around the front pocket of my hoodie and pulled my mobile out to check the time, I waited a few seconds and then checked again, not that I was expecting that there would be a sudden significant change in the digits from the time I checked 10 seconds ago, but one can only hope.
Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long until Ava turned up. About Ava, well . . . she’s unique, I mean, she knows all the weakness of a turtle and how to exploit them to her benefit when facing ninja turtles, which is of course is a must have in life. Also, being of mixed blood she has an exotic look about her, of which she exploits to her full advantage and has a ever-growing pile of broken hearts pilling up behind her and I can name them all. Today she wore black leggings with a long black and white horizontal striped top and a black jacket which was unusually more gothic than her usual attire, though when I say gothic I mean more of a casual Goth look, which is basically a bit too much eyeliner, generally dark clothing, a love of all dark things and a fan of rock music, of which she ticked all the boxes aside from the clothing and eyeliner. Though you can tell she would totally dress like that in her bedroom. Ava slouched down and sat beside me on the concrete seat and turned to face me.
“I’m amazed you managed to drag yourself from the depths of your bedroom today.” This remark was followed by her laughing, a lot. Apparently my facial expression answered her more than words, I mean who in their right mind would willing get out of bed? Hmm, so she wants to play nasty today.
I grin and respond “Well, you know I would have stayed in bed but who would miss the chance to watch
Ah Crap “Talk of the devil and the devil shall come” I state aloud, Ava looks at me confused, but is interrupted by the shouts of Ray and Dylan before she could ask what the hell I was on about.
“Alix . . . Ava” Dylan states with a slight nod of his head, being a man of very few words, this was about as creative as his greetings ever got. Ray on the over hand seemed to have a long list of stupid things to use as a greeting, today’s was no exception to this.
“Sup’ my ninjas” he says as he moves to sit next to Ava. How he can say that as if it’s something normal is beyond me. At times like this I’m glad I’m different from your average teenager, I mean sure, my mood swings are unpredictable and I am incredibly dirty minded, I just have more ways to abuse this fact. X-ray vision, I never grow bored of it. I can sit around in a class room with a teacher lecturing and be taking Dyl’s clothes off with my mind. Literally. Dyl is around 6’0 and toned of which he doesn’t know I know ALL about and he could be the poster boy for all things casual as he lives in jeans and t-shirts, although if he is feeling really creative he may wear the occasional shirt. Today he was wearing slightly worn jeans with slightly frayed holes over the knees, their colour a dull dark greyish blue, complimented with a plain white t-shirt with some logo on it that I could not recognise. Although it would seem that casual didn’t apply to his underwear as today he is nicely styling bright superman boxers, cute and now back to reality as I assess his hair style choice for today; it would seem he had been running late for his slightly long black hair was styled in the ‘I just got out of bed’ look, so my overall assessment is black long-ish hair, pale blue eyes, tall and a reserved personality, he really is quite the catch, Yum. Ray on the other hand at least tried to dress up, though there’s no point taking note of what he’s wearing as he changes his fashion style like he changes his underwear which is daily I hope… something I go to great lengths to avoid checking and overall he probably spends more time in the mirror than the average girl, but he will never admit to it.
After Ray had claimed the space next to Ava, Dyl walked over to the space next to me and fell to the seat, this was followed by him fidgeting around until he got himself into a position that looked anything but comfortable. Slowly he raised his head and stared at the sky, something doesn’t seem right, he seems somewhat distant today. As if reading my mind Dyl snaps back to reality, “So how long you guys been waiting?” he asks us, slipping back into his usual self. Before I had a chance to respond with a somewhat sensible answer Ray buts in,
“Does it matter? They’d wait for ever ‘cause it’s me who’s coming!” an arrogant smile spreads across his face. Me, Dyl and Ava start laughing, mhmm Dyl has a sexy laugh. Ray leans back and starts laughing along with us,
“Poor sod doesn’t know we’re laughing at him does he?” I leant over and whispered in Ava’s ear, of which took an immediate effect by causing her to go into a fit of hysterics, the type that leaves you gasping for air and holding your stomach and I gotta say, Ray’s face was an absolute picture! Because he had absolutely no idea what she was laughing at and wanted in on the joke. Clearly he never catches on that we are laughing at his endless vanity.
Dyl gets up and walks so he is in front of us, thus dragging Ray’s attention from gawking at Ava’s chest. Could it be anymore obvious at what he’s thinking of with the way he’s staring at her. I hear a whisper of a chuckle and bare witness to a rare facial expression of his sinister half smile. Apparently he also noticed where Ray was staring . . . and with that sinister smile he had planted on his face I guessed he was going to take advantage of this situation and as for me, I honest to god and all things holy wanted to pounce Dyl like it was some mating ritual. Ahh, the joys of the teenage mind. Dyl winks at me and Ava,
“It’s not his fault, it would seem he was dropped on his head as a baby. Repeatedly. So alas, his head is merely there as a decoration in an attempt to make him look like a standard human being, but he has yet to master his perverted nature apparently” Silence surrounded us for a short space of time, during which we watched as Ray’s face turn from confusion to an expression of surprise, shortly followed by anger and finished with a deep red of embarrassment. This dealt the final blow to Ava and rendered her helplessly unable to muffle her laughter any longer, she progressively got worse to the point where it was highly tempting to beat the laughter out of her, for her increasingly loud laughter had now made us centre of attention. Not that that made much of a difference, seeming as a group of social outcasts like us already attract enough attention, what, with our uniquely intriguing appearance complemented by our gothic images. Excluding Ray our poor little chav of course. The conclusion of this was to thump Ava on the arm.
“ If you’re quite done laughing, mind if we skip to the meal as I’m starving” and I seriously want to get out of this place.
“ Yeah, so where do you guys wanna eat?” Ray added, clearly glad that the subject was steering away from his stupidity.
“ Pizza hut?”, “ Nando’s?”, “TGI Fridays!”, “ Red Hot?” and so the ideas went around, after the first few ideas, I stopped paying attention to who was saying what as I was hungry and just wanted food quick. As their bickering escalated something seemed to be slowly falling out of place, as if something was incredibly wrong, at the back of my head a the low hum of a brewing migraine interrupted my trail of thought, fantastic! That does it …
“I’m willing to go anywhere as long as there’s no spicy food, so lets get a move on” I grumble as I stretch and slowly stand. I wasn’t to sure where half the place mentioned were so I begin to walk in the general direction of Pizza Hut, clearly indicating the decision was made.
“Pizza hut it is then!” chimed Ava, who then turned to face the boys with her tongue out “My win . . . What does that make it now?”
“ 8 – 1” Dylan reluctantly answers Ava before she goes on one of her hour long brags. Dylan walks up beside me and mouths a “you ok?” whom merely gets a nod in response, I’m on the borderline of getting a migraine, sleep deprived and now Ava is making a game of the whole situation, if you call that all right then sure, I’m terrific.
Pizza Hut went fast, not much I can say about the meal or what we talked about as my mind was elsewhere, in a happy, quite place in an attempt to avoid concentrating on the annoying buzz of unclear sound swirling around my head. I mean, every so often Ray would make a quick jab at insulting one of the staff or customers whilst waiting for the food to arrive and once the food eventually came, it was survival of the fittest or get spoiled by Dyl who grabbed me some of the better pieces. On the way out from the restaurant, Ray started throwing around ideas of what to do next, being the slow one of our group in noticing the deep depths of my suffering.
“ Dyl, I think it will be best if you drop Alix off home, as my personal taxi” Ava says whilst vaguely indicating at Ray with a wave of her hand “has only room for one due to the mess in his car”. After Ava said that, her all knowing smile was applied to her face, obviously indicating she wanted to play match-maker tonight and thought I should be grateful of this chance as she winked and dragged Ray away by the arm, not even giving Dylan a chance to respond.
“ And as her majesty demands your carriage awaits” Dylan said whilst motioning towards the car park. At this I had to smile,
“ So I guess you’ve also noticed Ava’s major princess syndrome she has going and I now demand your pity for my past sufferings” I half-heartedly responded to which he seemed to find amusing.
“ Hey, are you sure you’re ok?” he asks, his voice layered with concern now that the other two are well out of hearing distance.
“ Yeah, I’m ok, just a stupid headache. I’ll be fine once I get home and sleep it off” I smile and watch as Dylan starts moving out of my view. Oh shit. I hit the ground, hard. Just as I was fading out of conscious I could hear Dyl’s voice, so clear it stood out from among the buzzing.
“Alix, Alix!”.
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As I began to wake up I was surrounded by a mix of familiar scents and sounds. At first I was hit by the strong smell of perfume and body spray that lingered throughout the room, the next scent that grabbed at my attention was the oak and wood from furniture, these two smells then slowly blend, drifting and mixing with the fresh smell of my mother’s baking which had crawled up the stairs. I blink my eyes in an attempt to wake myself up some more, close by I can hear the sound of a click ticking repeatedly, round and round, further away there are pots banging and a television roaring – some form of sports channel would be my guess. I peek through my heavy eyes again to confirm I was definitely in my room, you never know. Every part of my body ached as if it needed a really good stretch, but true to form I had made my life difficult as I was thoroughly tangled up in my duvet, great. So I began slowly untangling and stretching, becoming more awake each passing second, then it hit me, a sensation that was to say far from pleasant, it is like having an alarm, a woodpecker, alongside various pieces of machinery all going off in my head at once, spinning, mocking me with their unnecessary noise.
“Aurgh, Shit!” I grab my head and curl up in a ball, praying that by making myself small the pain would go away. The banging downstairs stopped and I could now hear someone’s footsteps climbing up the stairs, the sound of each step and creak of the staircase echoing throughout my head, I wince as the door creaks slowly open as if it gains pleasure in my suffering.
“Here, aspirin and water” the voice was distinctly female and familiar. My mum or adopted mum at least. I reach for the glass and tablets and down them as quickly as possible so I can return to being small. She sits beside me on my bed, I don’t look at her.
I had only recently found out that Phoebe and my father, Ben were not my biological parents, it was on my 14th birthday that they sat me down and broke the news to me. To say the least it was a shock, but at the same time it answered many things I had been worrying about, such as why I feel no attachment to my parents. Phoebe and Ben have raised me since I was a newborn and it wasn’t easy on them, I was exceptionally advanced for a child my age and learnt things at a rapid rate. In my early teens I had been struggling to fit in at my high school, everyday was a living hell. I was never quite sure why I was bullied, i was 5”2 so I was on the shorter side but I was relatively pretty, just a bit gothic with a depressing aura, I had brains but I never flaunted them and I don’t think I ever did something to overly offend someone, oh and the whole X-Ray vision thing I kept to myself. But it was during my minor time as a depressed teenager, that I met Ava, Dyl and Ray. Looking back, I don’t think I would be who I am today without them by my side at each interval.
My reminiscing was rudely interrupted by my mothers sigh which lead onto her stern look. Wonder what I am being blamed for now …
“Exactly how much did you drink yesterday?” she asks, her voice completely on the telling off tone. Drinking? Though I hadn’t drunk, had i? I don’t think I did …
“Erm, I wasn’t drinking. I just went out to Pizza Hut?” okay, I may have sounded a bit rude responding like that, but my head hurt. My mum sat there and stared me in the eyes and so I started back, I had nothing to hide that I was currently aware of! Phoebe sighed, looked at me some more then carried on with her accusation,
“Then would you care to explain to me why Dylan brought you home complete out of it and the hangover you have going?” as she said this her face was filled with disappointment when I hadn’t even done anything wrong . . . recently.
“I didn’t drink anything aside from a few glasses of Pepsi”
“And you want me to believe ‘from a few glasses of Pepsi’ you got sick and passed out and had to be hauled home?”
“I had a headache! I passed out, it’s not completely unheard of!” I raised my voice in an attempt to get my point across. Worst idea of the century.
“Alix Taylor, do NOT take that tone of voice with me and just so you know you are grounded for a week. Next time you go out drinking at least inform me or your father and do not lie about it” she finished our argument at that and left my room. I wonder how many times she has given me this scolding, she really should get some new material, take another phrase from one of those housewife dramas she watches.
Now like all good, well-behaved normal teenagers I sat there and thought about my scolding and what I did wrong. My conclusion, like any good teenager was that I had done absolutely NOTHING wrong. The more I thought about it, the more I got wound up, the more wound up I got the angrier I got, the angrier I got the more I thought about it. It’s a deadly cycle no matter how you look at it. My headache long forgotten I get up and stomp to the mirror.
“Geh, I look awful” I look around the room “and so does my room, where’d mum leave my clean clothes . . . Ah there . . . hmmm . . . shit, where’d I put that t-shirt” Note to self: one-sided monologues are great fun. After awhile of shouting, swearing and searching around my room, I eventually found some clothes to wear, along with my baths towel and other shower necessities, with everything in hand I storm of to the bathroom determined to waste all the hot water I possibly can so my parents would have to have cold bath/showers later tonight. Petty, I know. But It makes me feel better. After spending an hour and a half in the shower and confirming there was little hot water left I get dressed and dry my hair. My hair is great, dead straight and choppy, slightly shorter than shoulder length and it’s black with various tonnes, it somewhat frames my face in a odd way and looks OK with my eyes which are a flat green. Once I was done playing around with makeup, sure I had to much eyeliner on I grabbed my phone and rang ava. After ringing for awhile she picked up the phone, sleepy voice and everything. I wonder what the time is … 7.45am, oops. I am so dead, oh well.
“Hello?” a sleep filled ava slurs out.
“Ava, it’s Alix, get dressed and ready. I’m getting a taxi over to yours in 5mins.” I command.
“Err, what? Why?”
“Mums gone on one and I sure as hell ain’t staying in the house, see you in about 25mins. Ask your mum if it’s ok I stay over. Cya soon. Bye!”
“wai …” I cut the phone of before she responded, she was used to situation likes this. For a matter of fact, so were Dyl and Ray. As soon as I get into an argument with my parents I’m out the house and turn up at one of their doorsteps, often unannounced. Sure, it’s not the mature way to settle the matter, but it’s better than me doing as I am told, getting more annoyed and arguing with my parents more., which generally just makes the situation worse!
